[Battlemesh] spirit of the event text

[Markus Kittenberger]

On Sun, Apr 1, 2012 at 11:52 PM, Juliusz Chroboczek <jch at pps.jussieu.fr>wrote:

> > Can you edit the text...
>
> How difficult can it be?
>
not as easy as one might think, as there are various things that should be
in it, while it has to stay short,..

>
>  Battelemesh is an annual gathering where a number of mesh and
>  community networking enthusiasts meet in order to test and compare
>  their mesh routing protocols.

NO, battlemesh is not only about routing protocols.


>  As the Battlemesh's attendance has grown in recent years, we have been

 reserving a small number of slots for short talks.

hmm imho "talks" sounds better as "happenings".

 However, we intend
>  Battlemesh to remain a technical event rather than a conference, and the
>  number of available slots is severely limited.
>
hmm it might not be wrong to put this aspect into the text, but not like
that.

maybe we could change the second sentence (of hennings iteration 2) to
something like:

"While BattleMesh is no conference, there are typically some short talks
per day, to allow people to present and get feedback for their ideas,
stories and experiences related to community mesh networks."

but afair the intention of the text was to say what battlemesh is or what
we want to have there, and not what is NOT or we do NOT want there,..
(but its not always easy with a strict "positive only" approach)

The trick is very simple:

 - put all the important stuff in the first sentence;
>
wow, what a groundbreaking idea! (-;

 - avoid vague terms

i think staying a bit vague, was an important achievement of this text.


> ("happening",

ack "happening" can/should be improved, maybe just use "talks".


> "open source philosophy", "events community").
>

"open-source" and "community" are likely the most important words of this
text!

and imho avoiding terms like "open-source" and "community", and replacing
them with e.g. "fun", is ....

Markus
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