<div class="gmail_quote">On Sun, Apr 1, 2012 at 11:52 PM, Juliusz Chroboczek <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:jch@pps.jussieu.fr" target="_blank">jch@pps.jussieu.fr</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
> Can you edit the text...<br>
<br>
How difficult can it be?<br></blockquote><div>not as easy as one might think, as there are various things that should be in it, while it has to stay short,..</div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
<br>
Battelemesh is an annual gathering where a number of mesh and<br>
community networking enthusiasts meet in order to test and compare<br>
their mesh routing protocols.</blockquote><div>NO, battlemesh is not only about routing protocols.</div><div> </div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
As the Battlemesh's attendance has grown in recent years, we have been</blockquote><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
reserving a small number of slots for short talks.</blockquote><div>hmm imho "talks" sounds better as "happenings".</div><div><br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
However, we intend<br>
Battlemesh to remain a technical event rather than a conference, and the<br>
number of available slots is severely limited.<br></blockquote><div>hmm it might not be wrong to put this aspect into the text, but not like that.</div><div><br></div><div>maybe we could change the second sentence (of hennings iteration 2) to something like:</div>
<div><br></div><div><span>"While BattleMesh is no conference, there are typically some short talks per day, to allow people to present and get feedback for their ideas, stories and experiences related to community mesh networks."<br>
</span></div><div> </div><div>but afair the intention of the text was to say what battlemesh is or what we want to have there, and not what is NOT or we do NOT want there,..</div><div>(but its not always easy with a strict "positive only" approach)</div>
<div><br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">The trick is very simple: </blockquote><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
- put all the important stuff in the first sentence;<br></blockquote><div><div>wow, what a groundbreaking idea! (-;</div></div><div><br></div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
- avoid vague terms</blockquote><div>i think staying a bit vague, was an important achievement of this text.</div><div> </div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
("happening", </blockquote><div>ack "happening" can/should be improved, maybe just use "talks".</div><div> </div><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
"open source philosophy", "events community").<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div><div>"open-source" and "community" are likely the most important words of this text!</div><div><br>
</div><div>and imho avoiding terms like "open-source" and "community", and replacing them with e.g. "fun", is ....</div></div><div><br></div><div>Markus</div></div>